....

Do you remember this?

Do you remember we bake this together? I miss you mom

Jakarta, 29 October 2011

As I walked towards my house, I stopped midway and started to cry. I cry infront of my neighbour’s house. I notice that I cried in the neighborhood, I tried to wipe my tears and held my chin up. I wished this was all a dream, I shut my eyes and imagine that Mom would be opening the gates and kissed my cheeks. She would ask me how my days went and Hafiz would be running towards me to give me a kiss and Hanaan would be doing the same thing. Khalif would take my hand to his forehead and Dad… Dad would joked and tell me that I smell and finally planted a kiss on my forehead.

But today, there was none of that. My grandmother was in the yard so is my cousin, Lila. I greeted them and ran inside the house, I was shocked that everything has changed. I teared up once more and head to the only room that haven’t changed was my bedroom. I jumped to my bed and cry. I missed them so much that I can see memory after memory playing in my head.

I searched for my clothes but it wasn’t there. I found my shorts and put them on. I switched on the tv and watch whatever is interesting in there. I kept on watching until my uncle came out of the room after his nap to show me my report. I don’t give a damn about them. I only want one thing, my family’s present.

I pulled my book and started to do some questions, I stopped and stared at the curtain. My room’s curtain. A memory flashed through my head, my Dad teaching me how to do Karate and my Mom cooking in the kitchen. Me playing monster with Hafiz, Hanaan combing my hair and Khalif and I made a team to annoy Hanaan. Soon my tears started to fall again. I couldn’t bear the pain, so I left my room to find fresh air. I cried once more and sat on with my head on knees. My uncle came outside the house and ask whats up to me. I don’t want him to see me down, I don’t want anyone to see me down.

I made my way to room and sleep, a few days ago I would have found my sister sleeping by my side. But not tonight or any other night. My grandmother was there, she started to mumble about my other Aunt sucks, whatever… I was thinking about my family that I ignored my grandmother. I started to tear up once more when grandma asked me if I missed my mom. She shouldn’t have asked that, she should have known all day long. Ignoring her I feel asleep…

10 things about me

10 things about me, it might sound weird but its ME...

1. I love to read


2. I love photography


3. I love to have fun


4. My favorite things to do is my hanging out with my bff


5. I just do nerdy stuff when I am bored


6. When I was little I want to become a DJ


7. I love climbing trees


8. I am very talkative


9. I am a good listener


10. I love to dance and jump around

Well folks this is me...

-VR

Wander

Sometimes I wander whether I really am me right now. I want to feel like I feel back then, I want to be the old me. I guess everything changes, everything dissolved into nothingness, it is different here. I just can't help it hoping that I would be like the past.
I just can't help it, smiling wide without no worry...

Its so different now and then
its not like it used to be
its like the sky being covered in black clouds
its like the rain and no ground to absorb

I don't want to leave it behind
I don't want to pretend that i am happy
I don't want to forget all of the moments
I don't want to let go

but there are time when we have to continue
the time when we go on to pass the long road
the time when we will pass our destinations
the time when we will be guide towards the end of the canal

I realize I can not be selfish towards the end
I can not have a big ego
I just have to be grateful
and to have faith in myself

Chemistry

What is chemistry?
yes, is one of the school subject
that I dont enjoy....

I have this conversation with this person who taught me that chemistry is fun and I never thought that chemistry could be define as many thing.
One day I had an argument about maths is the center from our life, but this very person told me:

"math is the tools

its where you stand

or you can step on it

while physics its the application

biology limit to the living things

... chemistry is every where ..."

I still don't like that idea but this person kept on saying:

... well this is chemist way of thinking ...

if you say chemistry in relationship ... people tend to describe with passion

surprise

unpredicted

logic

colourful

strong bond

Because of this person, I realize that I have felt chemistry different than chemistry school subject but its still chemistry...

hehehehe

:)
-VR

Invisible

This really confusing, believe it or not I am still thinking about you. But I tried hard to ignore you, to hate you, to not feel any friction or catch a glimpse of you every minute. I tried to protect myself from getting hurt, getting ignore. I want you to be invisible

"I can feel you all around
In the silence I hear the sound
Of your footsteps on the ground
And my heart slows down
So now I'm" -Invisible Jonas Brother

A friend is someone with whom you dare to be yourself.

-Frank Crane

My class, XI-BIO


Best friends

Buddies


My bestest friend: Mom

I love you guys

Mother

Mom, a special person that I love.
Spell mother:
M mom, u have always been there for me
O once, when I was little u read me stories before going to bed
T the one whom I trust and love so much
H her laugh and joyness makes me happy
E except when she is angry, she made me sad
R rose, a thousand rose I want to bring for her just to see her on sunday

Loose

its hard to loose a good person
worse than the biggest mansion
friends are better than treasure
sometimes give us pressure
precious they are
more than mustang the car
i felt sad when loosing them all
they are all my best pal
especially when loosing a guy
i feel like i want to break and buy
stress will i get
and you don't have to bet

Pessimist

I am being pessimist, a few days ago
I felt small
I am jealous
I felt like nothing
When I saw the ********* it was like stabbing me from behind
it was like a cookie being crushed
like sundae without it's chocolate and nuts
like an invisible person

But a good friend told me something that I haven't thought about
that person doesn't have what I have
good friends,
people who love me for me out-and-inside,
and I am not grateful of what I have.

I have learned that I should not feel pessimist and always be grateful to what I have

My Love for cinematography

Cinematography (from Greek: kinema - κίνημα "movement" and graphein - γράφειν "to record"), is the making of lighting and camera choices when recording photographic images for the cinema. It is closely related to the art of still photography. Many additional issues arise when both the camera and elements of the scene may be in motion, though this also greatly increases the creative possibilities of the process.

I love to watch movies and listening to musics since I was little and because my family like musics too. I am not expert on photography or cinematography or musics but I love them all.

When I hold a camera and look through it lens, it is like looking through my eyes. I can see far (though not so far because of the zoom) but like I am in heaven went a touch a camera.
Cinematography can also be my second memory, it will record me billions of hours, every scene, every little detail in every day's life.

Down

Hari ini gw merasa down dan happy banget karena banyak hal. Setiap ada kesenangan pasti ada keburukan...

Ini lah yang terjadi:
gw sudah planning untuk mengikuti lomba debat bahasa inggris yang akan diselengarakan di Binus...

tetapi karena masalah keuangan dari partner gw dan sekolah, gw jadi nga bisa ikut. sudah lama gw pengen ikut lomba debat se-nasional dan international tapi belum kesampaian..
gw down banget rasanya :(